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Oh, Mom, I have to tell you What a crazy day I've had, Please listen to my story Cause I know you're sorta mad. I was catchin' 'em old catfish And had all that I could take, When I saw a helpless baby On a log there in the lake. So I dove right in and saved it And I struggled back to shore, Just as I'd revived the baby's When I heard the lion's roar. Oh, I felt it's breath upon me, Was so close it blew my hair And I thought I was a goner When up popped a grizzly bear. That ole bear attacked the lion! Hey! I had an awful scare But all at once a space ship Flew right down and landed there Was a bunch of small green aliens, About hundred funny guys, Quickly grabbed the bear and lion And took off into the skies. Then the mom and dad showed up And they took their baby home, Why, here came a killer rooster With an ugly big red comb. So I changed where I was going. Had ta take the long way round. Soon I heard a big commotion And this is what I found: Wow! There wuz a hairy monster That was hitting kids and stuff, So I thrashed him with a big ole stick Until he yelled, "Enough." I should have called the sheriff But I didn't take the time. I left my fish and hurried home, I was missin' dinnertime. These things all took a little while, I'm sure you can relate So please warm my meat and taters, Mom, I'm sorry that I'm late. --Grandpa Tucker |