Gatorade

This toothpaste that I sell's the best,
It has more fluoride than the rest.
My problem is: my business caters
To crocodiles and alligators.

The one good thing: the coast is clear,
There is no competition here.
Proctor and Gamble, whom I fear,
Have had three salesmen disappear.

But gators won't brush up and down,
And scolding them just makes them frown.
I just cave in and lose my pride
And let 'em brush from side to side.

The brush keeps slipping from their claws
And I don't really care, because
If it's OK with mama gator
It's best that I not agitate her!!

It's selling floss I really hate
Because I have to demonstrate
And flossing gators is an art,
One slip and you get torn apart.

Right now I wish I could go back
And give math class another crack.
This time I'd try to get an "A",
And forget what all my buddies say!

Here's my advice, "Take drastic action
And learn to multiply that fraction.
The world belongs to those who know
The place that decimal point should go."

So then you won't get stuck like me:
Not sure when your next bite might be.
I've got to go, I'll see you later.
I'll sell some mouthwash to this gator.

—Grandpa Tucker
Copyright ©1998 by Bob Tucker